Have you ever watched a pair of doves together? They spend a lot of time preening and cooing. They groom one another and they offer one another comfort. It's actually quite inspiring. It's something that many of us just zip by. But it might be worth a second look. It might be worth incorporating those doves into your wedding ceremony so that you can incorporate that tender care into your wedding vows and then your marriage.
I was at the wedding reception of one of my couples once and I watched this couple as they walked through the buffet line. They were Chinese, and I believe that this is a traditional part of the wedding party. But as they chose food, they reached without hesitation for the best pieces, choosing very carefully. When they hurried back to the table, they proudly presented their piled plate to their partner. When I asked them about it, they told me, it was a tradition that encouraged them to start their marriage as they wished it to continue. Both of them knew what the other liked and chose accordingly. I would have felt so loved. At my own wedding, one of my best girls found great food for me and for Steve, but it never crossed our minds to go and get wonderful food for one another. The obligation to care tenderly for one else should probably be a staple in the wedding vows. It's probably already a staple in your relationship, you just want to keep encouraging it! Here are a few ways to think about how what you say in your wedding
- Be aware of where your partner is and what they are up to. Do not just share your day with your partner, make sure you inquire after their.
- Make a date with your partner. Beloved Brides, this is not just the purview of your Groom. Take One another out now and again. Take them somewhere they would like to go!
- Cook, fetch and purchase for your partners. This is a reciprocal obligation. It says that you are aware your partner is a human being separate and different from you. A cup of tea, a cold beer, a vase of flowers (or even just one). Notice what your partner likes and make an offering. Make a habit of making an offering. (A woman I knew was dying of cancer.) During chemo, which she was bearing heroically, she asked her husband for a cup of tea. in the 9 months she had left when the divorce was final, she met and married a man who revealed in giving her massages and bringing her a cup of tea.
- Touch your partner lovingly and not just sexually. Hold hands, trace the curve of a cheek, rub feet. Do that for the joy of it and not just because you want to make love.
- Make time to make love. It's so important. Making love out of bed is very important, but lovemaking is an important component to keeping the marriage vital.
Remember, it's not only about being solicitous and providing life's comforts both little and large. It is also about your willingness to receive. Little acts of kindness enrich and strengthen a marriage. And they add immeasureably to your pleasure.