Writing your own wedding vows is not as simple as it looks, especially if you want your vows to really represent you and your relationship. There are places on the web and at the library to look for the right language to use. But here are five focus points on as you look for the words, long before you make your decisions about what you're going to say. Wedding vows are not simply romantic expressions, they are oaths to be made and kept for a lifetime. Build some background before you start to look for the perfect words to honor your loving relationship:
- Know what you love about your partner . What made you fall in love with this person? What enchants you and what makes you respect your partner? Make a list and share it with your beloved. It's a wonderful thing to know you're loved!
- Know what your challenges are as partners . What challenges are you going to have to negotiate the rest of your life? The wonderful thing about loving someone is how fascinating and different they are from you. The bad thing about loving someone is how different they are from you! But if you know where your differences are, then you can be prepared to deal with them when they come up!
- Be in agreement about what the vows are . While there is a lot of space for expressing your individuality, wedding vows are not the place to do it. Wedding vows are the place for unity. The concepts should be big and broad … and incredibly substantial. Make the same promises to one another.
- Be in agreement about what the vows mean . When you say respect, what does that mean to each of you? What are hard times? What are you and your partner committing to?
- Be willing to do the work to live in love forever . Giving your word and living into it is the most important work we can do as humans. Only humans can do this. Love allows us to make the most ridiculous leaps of faith and live into them. It's difficult, but the payoff is certainly worth it.
Your loving relationship can grow if it's anchored in your respect and love for your partner. Give your relationship every opportunity to succeed by making wedding vows that reflect who you are and how you love one another.