Have you ever asked your mother, how to impress certain girl, or girls in general. She told you to be sweet, nice and thoughtful. She told you, that you should do anything, that a girl asks you for. And you've tried that and it never worked. It even backfired – you always get accustomed to the friend zone or never even get ever there.
And not only your mom. If you ask a girl, what kind of guys she likes, most of the time she'll answer something like that:
I want someone tall, blond and handsome, who fears me nice and will do anything about me.
Being nice … doing all kind of things that do not feel right. Giving compliments, making gifts, doing favors and providing resources, pretending to always feel good, even if you do not.
This is how society teachers us to be. These are set of rules, created by today's environment. We are in a way programmed to do so. The truth is most women do not know what they want. They respond on an emotional level.
Not a lot of people, really understand how attraction is sparked and works. Not even your mother. That way, even if she wants to give you a good guideline, she can not. No matter how much she loved you and wanted the best for you. As David DeAngelo said once:
Mom may have gotten the tingles when she saw Clint
Eastwood shooting everyone … and Neil Diamond
running around with his sneer, hairy chest and
that pickle in his jeans … (and that reminds
me … EWWWWWW … your mom is gross, dude).
I've read lots of books and seen a lot of material about evolution, social psychology and human behavior now. At that point I can say I see a lot of the things going on around me in a very different way. The interesting thing here is that people do not like to change their belief. Most people stuck with a belief that is not really true and use it as an excuse for their whole lives.
As first you have to change Your beliefs and stop sabotaging your self. Stop limiting yourself from all the stuff you can have in your life. People say that "Seeing is believing", but the opposite is even more powerful – Believing is seeing, guys. Believing is seeing!
That's because you brain is constantly looking for proof to your believes. So if you believe, that you suck in dating – you are going to suck in it. If you believe women only care about fame, money and looks … they are going to (they will not actually, but it's how your going to see it!).
David DeAngelo became famous with this – "Attraction is not a choice". Understand how true is that.
You can not talk anyone into FEELING attraction towards you. You can not! If you try to convince a girl to FEEL it, she will not. She'll actually loose attraction. All these – buying dinner, giving gift, being nice to her and etc. is actually you, trying to convince her.
Attraction happens on subconscious level. Learning all the "pick up lines" or "techniques" in the world would not help you. Even if they do, they are not going to make you feel right. Instead work on yourself first. Change your believes about that area of your life.