In all my work with couples, it is very rare that there is not an undering family dynamic that comes up as the bride is planning her big day. And trust me, no one wants wedding drama !! No one will deny that it is your big day, but your wedding is the joining of two families. Whether you are working with strong family personalities or everyone gets along great, here are some tips that will make it easy for you.
The Mom Factor
I can usually anticipate this situation happening with the mother of the bride. Being able to pick up on and trouble shoot will help avoid unnecessary arguments. The reality of the situation is that you are not the only one who has been dreaming about how great this day will be. Moms remember how magical it was to have a bride and wish the same for their daughters. In the past (around the time your mom may have gotten married), it was tradition that the mother of the bride made most of the decisions with the wedding. Even if you know exactly what you're looking for, make sure to invite your mom to appointments that may be important to her.
Another dynamic that I see in weddings is the mother of the groom feeling left out. This is a great opportunity for you to start a positive relationship with your future husband's family. It's also very easy to invite your future mothers-in-law to a meeting with a vendor, to include her in the planning of this exciting day. She has most likely also envisioned this day for a long time as well.
Although it should not be the only reason, make sure that if your parents or future in-laws are financially contributing to the cost of the wedding that you make a point to include them. Keeping all the plans to yourself may make you seem ungrateful to those who are helping to make it possible for you.
Other Helpful Tips
Make sure to tell keys sellers about family dynamics to avoid any unnecessary wedding drama. For example, if your dad and stepdad do not get along, then your photographer needs to know to not put them together in a family portrait.
When working with your DJ, keep in mind that you will have family and guests of varying ages. There are great opportunities throughout the night to play some oldies but goodies that your grandparents will appreciate, as well as great times for music that you and your bridal party want will enjoy.
No one likes drama (especially on your wedding day). Take the proper steps to avoid drama at ALL costs !!! Just like in life … treat others as you would like to be treated, and your wedding will be drama free.
Happy planning !!