Tips For Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

You are about to marry the man of your dreams. There are so many things you want to say to him so he knows how much he means to you. Why not write your own wedding vows and show him how you feel?

Writing your own vows is not as hard as it looks. You do not have to be a professional writer to put your feelings into words. You only have to be willing to take some time and energy to write them. Here are some things to keep in mind when deciding to write your own wedding vows.


Talk with your husband-to-be and officiant before deciding on personalized vows. Some religions require traditional word while others will allow you to do your own. Your officiant will be able to tell you what the religious ceremony allows. You also want to see if your fiancée wants to write his vows. Decide if you want to write them together, or separately?

Questions to Ask Yourself

Before you sit down to write, you need to ask yourself some questions about your relationship with your sweetheart. This is to be done whether you do your vows together or separately.

1. When did you first know you were in love with your fiancée?

2. What is the one thing about them you love more than anything?

3. What is the best memory you have of your time together?

4. What does being married mean to you?

5. What do you think will change once you are married?

6. What will stay the same after you are married?

7. What was your dream wedding when you were little?

Now that you are armed with your answers it's time to look at how to write your vows – together or separately.

Working Together

You are about to start a new life as a married couple. Why not write your vows together too? It's not as hard as you think.

Do Not Disturb

Before you being make sure you both will be alone. Unplug the phone, disconnect the doorbell, and close the drapes. You want to have some time to really think about what you want to write, without being disturbed.


Next make sure you have enough supplies. You will need pencils or pens, erasers, paper, and a timer.

Set a Time Limit

You should not spend all day writing your vows. Pick a time between twenty minutes to an hour to write your thoughts and feelings about your future spouse.

Time to Write

Go to separate rooms and start writing. Instead of trying to write your vows right now, consider writing a letter to your future spouse. Tell them why you love them. Use your answers to the above questions to write this letter. Do not forget those funny moments, serious ones, and inside jokes that define you two as a couple.

Special Meanings

Every couple has things that have a special meaning to them. Songs, quotes, and scripts can be used to make your vows extra special to you and your fiancée.

Time to Share

Unless you have agreed not to show each other your vows, once time is up get back together and share what you've written. This can be a wonderfully emotional moment, so allow enough time to read and discuss. Do not forget to allow time for laughing and crying.

Time to Write Those Vows

Now is the time to decide, as a couple, what the best parts of both letters and which parts should be used as part of your vows. If your officiant has word that has to be incorporated into your vows, then be sure to use them word for word. This does not mean you can not also use your words. If there is not a set way then use your own words to make vows you can cherish forever.

Her Vows, His Vows

There should be two sets of vows, the one you say to your future husband and the one he says to you. Wedding vows are a very personal message to your future spouse, so let each other choose what they want to say.

Final Step

You will want to show your vows to the officiant to your wedding. Make sure what you wrote will work for the ceremony they will be performing. Do not be closed minded about any suggestions or changes the officiant has for your vows; he's been doing weddings longer than you've been planning one.

Writing Your Vows Apart

There is nothing wrong with writing your vows as a surprise for your future spouse. In fact, many couples do this instead of writing them together. I think it adds to the wonder of the day. If you plan on writing them alone, the rules for writing together still apply but without the sharing part.

Practice !!!

Once you have your vows done, it's time to practice them. On your wedding day you will be saying these vows in front of your family and friends. Many couples have their vows on a piece of paper, but it is more romantic if the couple says their vows without having to use aids.


Consider having your vows typed up on nice paper and framed as a keepsake. It would be a beautiful reminder of your special day and the love you two share.

Writing your wedding vows is not as hard as it sounds and the rewards will be well worth the effort. Take the time and show your future spouse just how much his love means to you.