Editor's Note: Part 1 deal with a Man's 5 Basic Jobs:
1) Defend his loved ones.
2) Protect his loved ones.
3) Provide for his loved ones.
4) Encourage his loved ones.
5) Lead his loved ones.
A Man's 5 Basic Tendencies
But, alas, women it is not to be. Here is where your dream world begins to fall apart.
Just as a man has 5 fingers on his right hand there are 5 creative tendencies a man must overcome to live out his life.
1) He believes he is indestructible. I know this is not rational, is silly and difficult to believe, however, it is tied to his ego and allows him to also do the five jobs his analytical mind tells him he must do.
It is because a man can be an extremely competitive creature that he can put his life on the line for his family when defending them and protecting them.
A man, especially when he is younger, can be exciting, dangerous and foolish. He will buy his dream sports car and drive it down the freeway as fast as he can to see how fast he can go, and sometimes with his loved ones in the car.
He will dive off a 50-foot cliff to see if he can meet the water in the 10-foot space between the rocks below. Sometimes he will accomplish that feat, sometimes he will become paralyzed and sometimes he will kill himself in a fit of bravado.
Usually, somewhere around age 40 or 50 he will work in the yard all day Saturday and be totally stunned when he can not get out of bed Sunday morning. This is the point in his life when he realizes he is not the man he used to be.
If he uses the brains God keep him he will not continue take risky chances. If he has learned anything from the experience, he will begin to live a more sane life.
2) He believes his reach should exceed his grasp. A man will try to do more than he is physically, mentally and emotionally capable of doing. He will set impossible goals and then prove he can not achieve them.
He will set no limits on himself. He has an ego. He will work himself to death while ignoring his marriage, his children and the needs of his family, and he will justify this behavior because he can barely get past his third job: provide for his family.
He will justify his behavior in his mind because sometimes he is actually escaping a situation at home that he does not want to face. Rather than face the music he is willing to play the music alone and suffer the consequences, generally divorce.
Couples can fight about money and how to raise their children, but when they end up in divorce court it is usually because of a lack of communication. How many times have you heard a woman say he just will not talk to me?
When your man is not talking to you ladies, that is the first sign that your marriage is in trouble.
3) He believes he will live forever. No kidding. He actually believes he will live forever. It never really happens to him that he will die someday. He has been told this more than once; he comprehends what is being said, but he really does not believe it.
Women do not share this problem. I expect because they become very aware of just how fragile life is when birthing a newborn.
It generally does not even occur to a man that he will die until he is well past 50. When this realization strikes him, it is like a bolt of lighting. Sometimes it happens when his father dies, and then he realizes that he is next.
There are things that you will notice when his belief in this matter changes.
He will not leave home when the guys come by to go drinking and watch the game. He will become more aware about who he is with, where he is at and what he is doing. He now realizes that the meter on the taxi is running. He now understands that the alarm has been set on his clock, and it is ticking down.
4) Someone once said that every man needs someplace to go, something to do and someone to love. I believe that they are correct. Think about it.
A man needs someplace to go, this is the explorer in him. A man needs something to do, this is the automatic work ethic in him. He must be at work, or he could be a nuisance at home. A man needs someone to love because he needs acceptance.
You will notice that a woman who loses her husband at age 50 because he has worked himself to death can live another 30 years without a man in her life and be quite content. A man who loses his wife at age 50 will find another woman very soon or he will die, literally.
When a man loses his partner, he will make it his business to find another, and he will not make a career out of it because he already has a career. A man loses his wife and six months or a year later he marries again, usually to someone younger.
Many men do not wait to lose their wife. When they perceive they have lost something in a relationship, they simply dump their wife and find a younger model. I do not have to give women names; they can name on cue the men who have done so, both the famous and the infamous.
5) This is the most salient advice that I can give a woman about men: Listen carefully to what a man says but watch what he does, what he does is who he is. A man will always whisper sweet nothings in a woman's ear but once he is out of bed he barely notices his contract.
In today's world young girls and young women have bought into the media hype that they need to walk around half naked and sleep with any guy if they want to date or have any shot at a relationship. They are being hoodwinked.
Our culture and society has become so liberal, so permissive, so pleasure seeking and so self-centered and self-absorbed that the mantra is all about me. Young girls have Paris Hilton, Britany Spears and Lindsay Lohan as role models.
What young girls and young women need to know is that after young boys and young men have had their way with them they will discard them like they would a hot dog wrapper at a baseball game.
When these same young boys become young men and think about marriage they will not be interested in used goods. Any girl or young woman who has been passed around and has slept with multiple partners will get less attention.
A man who is worth marrying and having children with has learned impulse control and has the ability to feel an urge and delay acting on it. A man who can not or will not control himself is no better than the girls and young women he is indiscriminately sleeping with.
Someone arbitrarily decreed that casual sex does not damage whatsever to one's psyche or emotional well being. They are, of course, dead wrong but too immature to realize it and calculate the damage.
Oftentimes when they grow up they are unable to have a lasting relationship and they wonder why. This is true for both men and women. I do not have to postulate about this, the divorce rate, heartache and failed relationships prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
If the fundamental basis of a marriage is great sex, you have a serious problem that is not going to go away. Marriage should be for a long time and great sex at some point may not survive the duties and responsibilities of living.
Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley