In order to be successful at dating, you need to understand how men think. They think very differently from women. They follow a linear train of thought, and tend to be rational rather than emotional. They categorize things to help organize their thoughts. One of the things men categorize is women.
For most men, every woman falls into one of four categories: keeper, friend, fling, or ugghh!
She’s a keeper if she has traits he’s looking for in a mate. While this could include a variety of things, many men appreciate women with a sense of humor and self-confidence. For some men, physical attractiveness is very important, while others look on the inside. Everyone has his own ideas about what is attractive, as well.
She’s a friend if she does not turn him on. He may think she’s cool and enjoys her company, but he doesn’t see himself becoming intimate with her. Tomboys typically fall into this category. Being “one of the boys” is a good way to ensure that you will always just be friends with the guy you’re crushing on. Generally, men prefer feminine women. While you don’t have to prance around like Paris Hilton, you may want to start wearing a little makeup and more flattering clothing. Stop smoking, cursing, and drinking beer. Sit like a lady. Don’t tell off-color jokes. If you start to change in these small ways, men will begin to notice you.
She’s a fling if he thinks she’s hot but dislikes her personality. A good way to be categorized as a fling is to dress provocatively. While the media encourages us to dress this way, it really is a bad idea. While men do think scantily clad women are hot, they don’t think of these women as potential mates – only one-night stands. To avoid being judged as easy, dress conservatively and don’t respond to any sexual gestures. Many men will try, just to see what you’ll do. And if you become intimate too fast, then you become a fling.
She’ll fall under the “ugghh” category if he is just plain turned off by her. Some men are turned off by certain physical characteristics, such as weight or body features. There’s not a lot you can do about that. I don’t suggest going through drastic measures to change to your appearance in order to get a man. The right man will love you for who you are – not for what you look like. There are also certain behaviors that can land you in the ugghh category, and these include: acting like a diva, whining, being mean, cursing, getting drunk, using illicit drugs, and smoking.
Of course, your goal should be to become a keeper. However, don’t try too hard, or you’ll come off as desperate and end up in the fling category. While I agree that you should “be yourself”, I challenge you to grow in ways that will make you a more desirable mate. If you’ve had one relationship disaster after another, look at your habits and determine which ones are keeping you from landing the right man. Then, make changes and you’re bound to find Mr. Right sooner or later.