Avoiding Wedding Disasters – Part 2

Money. It has been said that it is the root of all evil. If I was not in the wedding business, I would argue that the saying is not true. But I can not. I've seen too many families be torn apart and happy engaged couples split up because of financial wedding issues.

Let me give you an example. Here's a scenario. Mom and Dad are paying for most of the wedding. They feel that since they are spending their hard earned money, they are allowed to do and say what they want. This can result in the worse kind of power struggle for a young couple about to embark on a new life together. To the parents: if you're going to pay for the wedding, then pay for the wedding. Do not expect that because you're doing that, it gives you free reign over everyone and everything. To the bride and groom: if this is what it turns into, I would elope! Or get married in a field of flowers on somebody's farm before you should allow yourself to go through this torture. It's not worth it. Your happiness is worth much more.

Let's talk a little bit more about the money aspect of wedding planning. Unfortunately, finances has probably caused more marriages breaks than any other issues. Do not start your marriage being in debt up to your eyesballs. If you have to charge a few things here and there, that's fine. But make a decision how much you are going to spend and stick to it, realizing that it will always surpass that anyway. Come up with a budget and consider that your ultimate guideline. You will thank me for this piece of advise in years to come.

To family and friends: give the future bride and groom the best gift you can give – let them be. Please be understanding. Please let them have 'their' day. It seems to me that most people use those words, but really do not understand the meaning. Do not try to live through them or dictate to them what you want, for their wedding. If they're old enough to get married, then they are old enough to make these decisions. Guidance is not dictatorship.

As I said in Part 1 of this article, having specific needs and desires written down and explained to others is vital to avoid marriage planning disasters. The betrothed couple should make the list alone and then share it with those that want to help and / or are paying for the wedding. This small piece of advice will actually serve to eliminate most of your problems.