Dating is not easy. Each sex both male and female are constantly wondering what to do and not to do, to keep someone attracted to them. Or better yet, how to get them attracted in the first place. When coupled with christian beliefs, and the desire to please God while still not coming across uptight or as a prude it can even become more difficult.
MISTAKE#1 “Talking About Other Men You Are Dating”
Imagine if you planned a date with a guy, and you invited him over for dinner. You planned the dinner date a week in advance and you were looking forward to it. The dish you prepared came out perfect; the setting at the table looked exquisite. You are looking forward to seeing him, and hoping he feels the same. Well he gets to your home, where you have spent time and effort cooking a fabulous dish. Things are going well and the conversation is flowing. UNTIL….he for some reason unknown to you – brings up his ex-girlfriend. At first, you are not bothered, but as you look at your watch 15 minutes has passed and he is still talking non-stop about her. The fabulous dish is now cold, and by the way, he has mentioned nothing about the striking dress you are wearing.
This scenario would probably make you feel a little unappreciated to say the least. Well this- if not worst is how a man feels when he goes out of his way to ask a woman out, plan a date, pick her up, and try to impress her. Then BAM she can’t stop telling him all about the ex-boyfriend over dinner. All the gory details from beginning to end. He is wondering why since you don’t like the ex, are you continuously talking about him. Especially while out on a first date with him. He now immediately sees you as a woman with BAGGAGE. He sees your so called ex soon appearing back in your life, since you love to talk about him over dinner with other guys. In addition, the new guy being sent away with a broken heart. Many women make this mistake because women love to “share their feelings.” Well we are here to warn you -that you will be “sharing your feelings” with someone else about how the new guy never asked you out again. “IF” you bring up other guys on a first date.
MISTAKE#2 “Flaking On Him At The Last Minute”
We all find our time to be valuable and would like others to respect that. When a man asks a woman out and he is on his way to meet her. It is a complete turn off to get a phone call when he’s already in route, with a woman saying she can’t make it. Especially if it is, something special like a concert, or a play that he bought tickets for. Men have shared with us that they find it shows lack of consideration, and immaturity. Men can tell when a woman is sincere, and if she truly had a legitimate reason to cancel at the last minute. Most men feel like she probably was asked out by another guy, or wanted to go out with her girlfriends instead.
One of the most sensitive parts to a woman is her heart, and one of the most precious parts to a man is his EGO. Crush he’s ego, and you have just given yourself extra work to win him over again. Don’t get us wrong ladies, we definitely believe in keeping a man on his toes. However, as we talk about in our christian dating advice book there are correct ways of doing that. In addition, flaking at the last minute is not one of them! It will take him some time and guts to get the nerve to ask you out again. In addition, if he is someone you really are interested in why create an unnecessary obstacle for yourself?
MISTAKE#3 “Negative Conversation”
Negative attitude and comments are a big turn off. Not only to men but others around you. When you are out with a man, especially for the first time he is observing everything about you. It is always best to be pleasant and positive. Remember, first impressions are lasting impression! If you are complaining about the restaurant, talking negative about other people around you, and better yet talking negative about yourself. You may as well end the date early, because no man wants to be with a “Negative Nancy.” Men are looking for a woman that is a breath of fresh air. They get enough negativity out in the world, and all men shared with us that they find a woman that is always smiling and pleasant irresistible. We all have bad days, no one is asking you to tap dance, and put on a show. But hopefully you are a woman constantly in prayer and in a peaceful place mentally and emotionally and that will come out in your personality!